Feeling Life and Embracing it!

I've noticed something about myself - sometimes I just 'get through' life. That's not the same 'embracing' life.  It's more like 'pushing through the pain'.  I imagine myself with my eyes shut tight, my fists tight and my teeth clenched. And I realized that that is not the way I want to go through life.  I've been reading about 'meditating' -- more like stopping long enough to actually recognize what I'm feeling - really feeling- and allowing myself to feel it instead of running away from it.  I decided I wanted to stop managing my life and start actually experiencing it - the good and the bad feeling parts.  I decided to try an experiment, and I am the Guinea  pig.  Part of this experiment has been to start a new job - one that involves serving the public.  At a place where I don't know any of my coworkers or customers. And most of the time I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I had a wonderful trainer but there are many parts to the job and several computer programs and it feels like I am supposed to remember everything, all at once -- while on display to my customers.  Sometimes I forget the steps. I make mistakes. I feel very exposed.  It's been good for me but it feels crunchy. Really, really crunchy.  It has provided many opportunities for me to be humble and express thanks to my customers and coworkers for their patience and understanding - which I am happy to say are qualities most people are more than willing to share when asked. 
As I anticipate the beginning of another work week I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. I can feel the anticipation of the discomfort I know I will feel several times this week.  I feel the draw to my old comfort zones  - where I knew what to expect and how to do what was expected of me.  I also feel I am doing a good thing.  I am feeling life and embracing it!